We never saw it coming...my daughter is getting laid off tomorrow. Her boss is so sad and she actually prayed about it, asking for the good of all I guess. There is something better out there for her I'm sure but still, it is a very scary time.
I had a stroke and am now on disability and my contribution is minimal. I am like the housewife and try to take care of everything on the home front while she goes out into the world to make the living.
We are a pretty good team now, after many years of trial and error. I think we grew up together really. She is so strong, at least she appears to me to be. I don't know what she's really thinking. I see her going about the business of getting ready to find a new job and she amazes me. We will keep the situation from the kids so as not to worry them.
We will be be fine, we always have been and we always will be. Amen!!!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Montana
I am visiting Montana this weekend. I am staying at my old bosses house, not that she's old. She and her husband have been very sweet to me and I love them very much.
Being here is a reminder of how important friends are in our lives. They are supportive and funny and caring. We learn about our own ability to love and forgive and share through our friendships.
We learn that our friends cannot always be there for us. Sometimes they just aren't available and that's okay, too. My friends have taught me much more about myself than they have ever taught me about them.
I am a better person because of it. Patience and kindness are what's important. Being a good listener is important, too. Not letting your friends get you wrapped up in their stuff is important as well. We need to learn when to draw the line, when to just listen and when to jump to their defense.
Most of the time, when we think our friends aren't there for us it's really that they are going through something they don't want to share and it has nothing to do with us. We are funny that way...human beings I mean. We are only as good and our for-bearers and who the heck knows what they were thinking when they were bringing us up anyway?
I thank God for my friends and all that they have taught me!!!
Being here is a reminder of how important friends are in our lives. They are supportive and funny and caring. We learn about our own ability to love and forgive and share through our friendships.
We learn that our friends cannot always be there for us. Sometimes they just aren't available and that's okay, too. My friends have taught me much more about myself than they have ever taught me about them.
I am a better person because of it. Patience and kindness are what's important. Being a good listener is important, too. Not letting your friends get you wrapped up in their stuff is important as well. We need to learn when to draw the line, when to just listen and when to jump to their defense.
Most of the time, when we think our friends aren't there for us it's really that they are going through something they don't want to share and it has nothing to do with us. We are funny that way...human beings I mean. We are only as good and our for-bearers and who the heck knows what they were thinking when they were bringing us up anyway?
I thank God for my friends and all that they have taught me!!!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Everyday difficulties
I realize that the daily grind is much more challenging today than in days gone by. I also realize that I am not doing anything thoughtfully...mostly going through the motions. I have a kind of routine everyday that gets me going in the morning, but if I don't have the entire day pretty much planned out I find myself sitting and staring at the TV way to much. It is so easy to get overwhelmed with what has to be done.
The house we are living in is still in a mess. I know what I need to do to get organized but we are a little strapped for cash since the renovation. We thought we had a good plan as far as where the money was to go. We thought we had a contractor we could trust..someone we were sure knew what and how to do everything we needed to get done. We didn't count on some of the poor choices he made and I was still in Montana so I was unable to keep and eye on things and my daughter was working full time and taking care of the boys and getting ready to move herself. We made mistakes, he made mistakes and we had to move into a partially unfinished house and are trying to figure out how to pay for the final bills.
"Live and learn" is the phrase that keeps going through my head. I know I should have had a contract but I didn't get one. We should have been able to get more bids and to be able to choose more carefully, but we weren't. We made mistakes.
Oh, well. We have a nice little house with heat and a new roof.
We are safe and together. We will be okay.
The house we are living in is still in a mess. I know what I need to do to get organized but we are a little strapped for cash since the renovation. We thought we had a good plan as far as where the money was to go. We thought we had a contractor we could trust..someone we were sure knew what and how to do everything we needed to get done. We didn't count on some of the poor choices he made and I was still in Montana so I was unable to keep and eye on things and my daughter was working full time and taking care of the boys and getting ready to move herself. We made mistakes, he made mistakes and we had to move into a partially unfinished house and are trying to figure out how to pay for the final bills.
"Live and learn" is the phrase that keeps going through my head. I know I should have had a contract but I didn't get one. We should have been able to get more bids and to be able to choose more carefully, but we weren't. We made mistakes.
Oh, well. We have a nice little house with heat and a new roof.
We are safe and together. We will be okay.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
It's so Cold
Wow, I woke up to 19 degrees. I love it. It might be a little tough to work outside but if you are in an office job it's not too bad, just wrap up and get going.
Wait a minute, what if you don't have a job or even a place to live? What are you doing to keep warm today?
I need to do something. I am going through my closet and all of my clothes to pass some coats along today. For years I have had a love affair with coats. Not just coats but sweatshirts, hoodies, vests, sweaters and jackets. When I was a little girl I so wanted a new coat but I was a middle child and always had to have hand-me-downs. then for years after I grew up I spent my money on coats. Short ones, long ones, black ones, blue ones, leather and wool and all sorts of materials. It didn't matter, because I was filling a need that I wasn't really conscience of until much later in life. My mom pointed it out one day on a visit. She said "I know why you have so many coats...because dad wouldn't buy you that one you wanted when you were little" Boy, the light bulb went on. She was so right. This revelation freed me from a lifetime of my need to feel validated by such a small thing. I still do love coats however there is only a desire to be warm now.
So, I want to help some other little girl feel warm and stylish, too, if that's what she wants. Sometimes the motivation is unclear, but if we feel there is something we need to do, we need to ask ourselves ,"What can I do to help today?"
Then just do it.
Wait a minute, what if you don't have a job or even a place to live? What are you doing to keep warm today?
I need to do something. I am going through my closet and all of my clothes to pass some coats along today. For years I have had a love affair with coats. Not just coats but sweatshirts, hoodies, vests, sweaters and jackets. When I was a little girl I so wanted a new coat but I was a middle child and always had to have hand-me-downs. then for years after I grew up I spent my money on coats. Short ones, long ones, black ones, blue ones, leather and wool and all sorts of materials. It didn't matter, because I was filling a need that I wasn't really conscience of until much later in life. My mom pointed it out one day on a visit. She said "I know why you have so many coats...because dad wouldn't buy you that one you wanted when you were little" Boy, the light bulb went on. She was so right. This revelation freed me from a lifetime of my need to feel validated by such a small thing. I still do love coats however there is only a desire to be warm now.
So, I want to help some other little girl feel warm and stylish, too, if that's what she wants. Sometimes the motivation is unclear, but if we feel there is something we need to do, we need to ask ourselves ,"What can I do to help today?"
Then just do it.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Amazing
It is a beautiful day...albeit a little crisp ,the sun is shining and there are very clear skies today.
This is a first for me. I have always be interested in writing and in being creative. It has been years since I have sat down to do any wordsmithery. Hey, new word?
I am in a totally new space now, physically and spiritually. I had a small stroke, the kind that happens when you are sleeping. I awoke to tinging on my left side and first thought I was having a heart attack and then I wondered if it was a stroke. I wasn't able to reach my best friend, so I took two aspirin and made my way to the hospital.
The doctors there ruled out both a stroke and a heart attack. Although the tingling was still there, they didn't know what was causing it and suggested I see a neurologist. Well, it was clear to me that they had little concern for my fear of what was to come. "If it gets worse...give us a call back" Whatever!!! I was a bit afraid, was it a pinched nerve or what?
Within a week the pain came. My left side was on fire. Every nerve from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet was affected. It was crazy and I didn't know what was happening to me.
I had been to four doctors within 6 months trying to find out what was causing a skin irritation that I was having. Two of them were Doctors who studied Natural Medicine as I was interested in finding someone who was interested in a "fewer drugs" approach.
Two of them never even checked my vitals. One of the others, nurse mentioned that my blood pressure was very high but the Doctor never said a thing to me about it.
I was just three days before the stroke that I found Dr Troy in Columbia falls, Montana. She took my vitals and was very alarmed about my pressure and wanted me to get on a diuretic right away. We set up an appointment for the following Thursday. I didn't make it in time. June 27th,2009, a little over 5 months ago. It seems like a lifetime ago now. Everything is different now. I
This is a first for me. I have always be interested in writing and in being creative. It has been years since I have sat down to do any wordsmithery. Hey, new word?
I am in a totally new space now, physically and spiritually. I had a small stroke, the kind that happens when you are sleeping. I awoke to tinging on my left side and first thought I was having a heart attack and then I wondered if it was a stroke. I wasn't able to reach my best friend, so I took two aspirin and made my way to the hospital.
The doctors there ruled out both a stroke and a heart attack. Although the tingling was still there, they didn't know what was causing it and suggested I see a neurologist. Well, it was clear to me that they had little concern for my fear of what was to come. "If it gets worse...give us a call back" Whatever!!! I was a bit afraid, was it a pinched nerve or what?
Within a week the pain came. My left side was on fire. Every nerve from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet was affected. It was crazy and I didn't know what was happening to me.
I had been to four doctors within 6 months trying to find out what was causing a skin irritation that I was having. Two of them were Doctors who studied Natural Medicine as I was interested in finding someone who was interested in a "fewer drugs" approach.
Two of them never even checked my vitals. One of the others, nurse mentioned that my blood pressure was very high but the Doctor never said a thing to me about it.
I was just three days before the stroke that I found Dr Troy in Columbia falls, Montana. She took my vitals and was very alarmed about my pressure and wanted me to get on a diuretic right away. We set up an appointment for the following Thursday. I didn't make it in time. June 27th,2009, a little over 5 months ago. It seems like a lifetime ago now. Everything is different now. I
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